Relationship Advice

3 ways you may be worsening your relationship even without realizing

The crux of a successful relationship lies in understanding your partner. Today, relationship problems have acquired larger dimension in the social and personal lives of people. Certain subconscious habits often frustrate your partner, and your relationship comes under stress without your knowledge. The best way to keep a check on relationship issues to cultivate self-awareness. Even when you deal with your co-workers, your relationship may suffer a strain. Read on to know three areas where you might be damaging your relationships without knowing.

Providing feedback without seeking permission

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Well, you might notice that in your subconscious mind, you might be providing feedback when you are not asked for. Such an approach is often viewed as the interference with one’s individuality. In case of personal relationships, you may be providing the feedback for a good cause. Do you note whether the other person is in the right state of mind to judge your action? Everyone has an individual liberty to act, so make sure you seek your partner’s permission before putting forward your feedback. Alternatively, create a situation where the other person will come to you for your opinion.

Ignoring your partner’s feelings

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Fluctuating emotions often lead people to ignore their partner’s feelings when they need them the most.  Stress and frustration may cause you to think that the closest person doesn’t understand you. You should take care to understand the mental state of your partner. Often, people ignore their feelings and try to justify their own point. You should respect the feelings of your partner by simply listening to what they say. Whether it is logical or not, your role should be to reduce the stress level by being a listener. Ask your partner about the feelings and wait for the right time to put forward your feedback. On relaxation, your partner may approach you for your advice.

Failure to provide any feedback

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One of the most common problems in relationships is the failure to offer any feedback. This happens particularly when your partner approaches you for your opinion. You may reply that you don’t know or are simply not interested. Remember, it is a rude response which damages your relationship. You may try to appear neutral and flexible, but that does not justify the point. Take time and understand the concern. Even if you are not able to solve the issue, guide your partner to approach the problem from a different angle.

You must have realized that relationship problems and solutions should be dealt with care. A slight miscalculation may result in repentance in the long run. Manage your urges and emotions in a better way to assure a long-lasting and healthy relationship.

 

 

 

 

 

Relationship Advice

10 Things to Do to Enjoy a long-lasting Relationship

Relationships pivot around understandings and bonds. A good relationship is tough to establish, and even tougher to maintain. Today, relationship issues have become more pronounced due to the busy schedule of life, inability to feel your partner’s pulse and lack of understanding. Here are ten things you should do to make your relationship last longer.

Forgive and forget

01

Grudge finds no place between two close hearts. Eliminate the revengeful attitude and you will enjoy a beautiful relationship. Personal relations come across glitches, but you should have sweeter things to remember.

Adapt yourself

02

Being adaptive makes you more flexible. A flexible person is more compatible with the partner. No two persons have the same type of characters, after all, relationships are not jigsaw puzzles. You should try to work on your differences and eliminate the rough edges.

Travel together

03

Travelling together helps you to open up your hearts and express your views about the world. It will add value to your bond and help you to strengthen your relationship.

Develop interests individually

04

The inherent interests vary from person to person. In these cases, you should not expect your partner to be interested in whatever you like, and vice versa. Try to cultivate the interest to a comfortable extent and leave your partner to focus on his or her pursuits.

Admit your mistakes

05

Unwillingness to admit to your mistakes strains your relationships. You might have done something wrong in the heat of the moment, or unintentionally. Take the initiative to confess and don’t hide your faults. It helps to grow faith.

Surprise your partner

06

Occasional gifts, long drives and holiday trips will help your relations to grow. It spices up your lives. Make sure you arrange for surprises now and often.

Fine tune your soft skills

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These are the inherent part of individuals that complement good relationships. Patience, trust and empathy help a relationship to flourish.

Respect friends

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A relationship does not exist outside a society, so you need to interact with each other’s friends. The more you socialize, trust and compassion grown between the two hearts. You should be respectful to your partner’s friends.

Respect personal space

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A stable relationship needs each person to respect the other’s time and space. Make sure you do not intervene into every move made by your partner.

Involve your families

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From the beginning, you should be clean and transparent about your relationships. Involve the families, so that chances of family objections are minimized. It will infuse your relationship with longevity.

A good relationship is a gift. Respect your partner and his/her values. These tips will make your relationship stable and long lasting.

Relationship Advice

Those Little Things

A long weekend is here and everyone has already made plans. Someone is going out for a nice trip, someone’s going home, and those who aren’t, they have their own set of plans. But what about us? What are we going to do? I am sure I am going to watch a lot of Instagram and Snapchat updates, all of which would be about drinking, partying, travelling, and what not! I will have to get used to swiping through ‘Mood’, ‘Yass’, and ‘Sunday Done Right’ kinda posts. But does all of it really matter if you have the best company around?

Would you rather sleep in a little extra with your beloved or wake up early in the morning to catch that train/flight/bus?

Would you rather enjoy a big fat homemade (or ordered for the lazy bums) breakfast with your partner/favourite person or look for a meal in an unknown city?

Would you rather re-watch a movie with your kids or walk in the middle of nowhere?

Would you rather go for a hair spa/pedicure/couple spa or tire yourself out with all the travelling?

Would you rather enjoy reading your favourite book with coffee/red wine or answer those awkward questions asked at every visit home?

It’s mostly a game of preferences. Some people love being out, some people like staying in. Some people like going back to their folks while some people like being just alone, by themselves.

So even if you have no plans chalked out now, but you do have someone who makes your life beautiful, stop being cranky. Sometimes the presence of your beloved makes the ride joyful whether or not you are travelling. Even if you can not travel, you can always explore something new about your relationship, your life, your interests, etc.!

So just enjoy the weekend as is. Acknowledge the fact that this weekend is giving you an extra day to spend with your partner, something that is not easily available during our hectic schedule. Not sure if that’d be ‘instagrammable’, but it is definitely going to be one those days you’d think about when you’re loaded with work.

Happy long weekend 🙂

 

Uncategorized

To new spaces!

I started this blog back during the times I was just another engineering student. The blog has been a milestone for my life as it helped me recognize my talent. It brought me everyone’s appreciation and readers from all across the world in such a short period of time. This blog’s popularity helped me sign my first book. Blogging told me what I wanted to do out of my life, my calling, my purpose! And whatever happens, I will always be obliged to this space for making me what I am today.

This place is extremely special for me! However, it’s time to bid adieu to this platform. I have moved the blog to WordPress with the domain name – http://relationshipvows.com/

This will help bring to you a better user experience and so many more stories and relationship related issues to read and ponder upon.

Do drop by!

See you all on the other side!

Relationship Advice, Romantic fiction

Us before everything Else

‘Hey!’ beeped my phone but I wasn’t ready to reply to the message. I had been pretty pissed off with him for not being able to take time out for me. I had been looking forward to our trip together but it only seemed like a far far dream these days. My only connection with him over the past two weeks had been the morning cup of tea. We were running out of time. This wasn’t what we had enrolled for!
Hadn’t we promised that jobs, career, studies, courses, colleagues, friends, daily chores, nothing would take over our time together? But here I was – living in a moment where our priorities had managed to take a U turn. We were loaded with work throughout the day. And evenings. They were the most dreaded ones. I’d be too tired by the time I’d reach home. I would have little energy to make myself dinner. Sometimes he’d order for me and at times, I’d just cook something light to fill my stomach. But this wasn’t exactly working out for us. I’d patiently wait for his call but then he was either too exhausted that I’d feel guilty to make him do this or I’d fall asleep waiting for him.
I was getting sick of all this. It was eating me up from inside. I had started to feel hollow. I tried to immerse myself in work but it did not help. I couldn’t concentrate on my work either. He would keep running in my mind all day. A lot of broken hearts find solace in their work but somehow it is extremely difficult for someone hanging around in this tensed situation. You don’t know what lies ahead. Anything can happen. You can either fall off the bridge or be rescued. In such condition, nothing you do works in your favour. Friends become your support system but not always. When your relationship has come such a long way, friends only come out with things such as ‘It’s gonna pass away’ or ‘It is just another rough time, keep calm!’ but how do you keep calm?
How do you tell someone that your insides are on fire? Something is slowly and gradually eating you up, sucking the life of you and you can not do anything about it except suffering in chaos (not silence). It is never silent. The chaos in your head is so strong that it overpowers every other sound around you. That is how I felt! Every minute. Every second. It hurt at the places I did not even know existed. I was just too frustrated with everything around. What was love bringing me to!
Back to my world, I decided to not reply to his ‘Hey!’ It will only make me sad, this was definitely not the right time to reply (read explode). I did not want to explode because, in the end, he was the man I really loved. He was the man I chose over everyone else. He was the man I wanted to spend all my life with. Perhaps, I just wasn’t living in the right times. Perhaps I was going through some low moments. Perhaps the stars were not in my favour.
‘Hey! What’s the status of the creative we need to send by EOD?’ I asked my colleague and went ahead with my work.
I was immersed in my work when suddenly, my eyes got stuck on that guy in the cabin just across my desk. He was writing something on the whiteboard, perhaps some code. It did not take me a second to realize it was ‘him’. What was he trying to do here? At my workplace? I was shell shocked. He noticed me and simply smiled. I just nodded my head and gave him an expression that wanted explanation. He just looked at me with mischievous eyes.  I stood as clueless as I was five minutes ago.
I quietly sat on my seat and texted him to explain out his presence at my work. I kept on tapping my nails on the desk and fiddling with stuff around until a team mate noticed. I just sat straight trying to keep calm. After an hour that seemed like ages, he came out.
‘Hey Gia! How have you been? It’s such been long since we connected!” he shouted out loud and shook hands with me.
Dramatic. It wouldn’t take minutes for anyone to know the truth. His pictures were all over my Instagram.
I raised my eyebrows but replied in order to keep up with his act.
Once out, I started off with my queries.
“What are you doing here?”
“You still don’t know why I am here. I know we have been too busy to keep up with each other’s day-to-day events and I know I am to be blamed for this. I have been harsh on you. Believe me, I never wanted to hurt you but I was left with no choice. However, in this rat race, I realized I was losing the most important person in my life. I promised you that nothing else in this world would ever be kept over you. Somehow my work tried to play tricks and then I decided that it was time to say goodbye to it.”
“What?” I asked him shockingly. “Are you planning to resign?”
“I already have,” he smiled.
I panicked, “Are you crazy? What are you going to do?”
“Relax! I have resigned to join your office. Now onwards, we work at the same place, we will come together and leave together. I can spend as much time as I want to with you without any hassles,” he kept on smiling.

I could not control myself and smiled through the tears rolling down my eyes. I was truly blessed. I had made the right choice. He was the only man I wanted to be with. We hugged each other and all troubles were gone in that hug.
Relationships/Marriages are not easy but love surpasses everything. Don’t let that special person of your life go!
Relationship Advice, Romantic fiction

Let there be Love

“Rush, the cab is here,” he called out from the hall.
“Yes! Give me a minute,” she replied collecting her laptop, charger, data cable, headphones and stuffing them into her bag.

This was an everyday story for them. He’d wake up early every morning while she slept off till he got ready for the day. They’d always been different, he was a morning person and she was one to wake up all night. He liked tea, she coffee. He liked rap, she EDM. He was a hardcore science lover, she a literary buff. But the differences somehow complimented their bond, perhaps because of the emotional connect, they were similar on the emotional level, hard from outside, soft from inside.

“Lunch, coffee and medicines, here,” he said as he came from the hall towards the room where he saw her applying kohl.
“Thanks! You are a life saver,” she replied as she kept on moving the kohl pencil on her waterline.

No reply came. She knew he was looking at her. Two years and nothing had changed. She put on a bindi and then looked at him. They smiled through the silence and hugged each other just like every day before heading out for work.

Love indeed came in the small little things of life. For him, it was letting her sleep for an extra hour or two. For her, it was writing down those sweet gestures by him.

*If you liked this post, you might like my book too. Buy here*

 

Relationship Advice, Romantic fiction

The First Showers

F WORD

Delhi’s heat had reached a point where people couldn’t take it anymore, there was a whole lot of disgust and irritation amongst everyone and it was pretty much evident in their behaviour and day to day activities. No wonder, it did the same to Pratishtha. She had somehow forgotten to see logic in any conversation. Of late, she had become too irritating to tackle. She and Gautam had been having several arguments most of which seemed nonsensical once the fight got over. However hard they tried, things were just not turning right and all this had begun to take a toll on not just their relationship but also on their work.
And then one day, all of a sudden, amidst the commotion of work and deadlines, barged the winds on her face through the open window. She instantly looked out only to find that the weather had taken a beautiful turn. The scorching heat had been replaced by the cool winds, the sky was a little cloudy, conveying the arrival of the beautiful weather. She smiled to herself thinking how marvelous would it be to have him around at this point of time. But then she looked at her watch, there was still time for office hours to get over.
Nevertheless, she picked up her phone to call him up. 
“Hey!” he called out from the other end.
“Look out of the window,” she spoke getting excited like a kid.
“I am in the conference room,” he replied, “Give me a second.”
“Ahh!”
“Miss me?” she asked.
“I do. Coffee after work?” he asked.
“Yes,” she blushed as she replied. He had the power to make her blush like a teenager even after two years of being together.
At six, as she walked out of her office, she saw him waiting at the gate. She tried hard to resist the urge to hug him tight and just went up to him, giggling ear to ear.
“Let’s walk to the coffee shop, the weather deserves it,” he said.
“It does and so do we,” she held his hand tight and began walking.
All was forgotten and forgiven. Sometimes when humans fail to revive back the love in their relationship, weather comes to their rescue. Their love was true, nature had to intervene to bring the two souls back to being perfect. 
Have you ever been in love? How does it make you feel? Do you think that the weather has a huge role in your bond?
Uncategorized

Few Words

00If you follow my official blog then you must be aware of the fact that my second full-fledged work is up for pre-orders. If in case you are one of the loyal readers of this blog only then I have some really special news to share with you people. Yes, my second book ‘Bad Romance’ is finally coming out and you all can have a glimpse of the book cover in the featured image.

This is what the blurb says:

Life is a bitch and I’m one of its victims. I had the perfect life. I was blessed with the perfect boyfriend, a perfect best friend, the perfect set of girlfriends and perfect choice of career. There were some loopholes but then they went beyond my perspective. Overall, I had the kind of life people would ideally like to have but happy times aren’t meant to last forever.
Sometimes we feel that we have figured life but that’s something that is never going to happen. You know why? It’s because it has this habit of kicking us right in the middle of ecstasy. No wonder, it did the same with me.
This is my story, my story of that exploration within, my feelings, my emotions, my thought process, my priorities, my conflicts and my journey into the temptation of love, lust, lies and betrayals. This is the story of Kritika and a man who gave her life another dimension, Tanishq. This is a story of the complexities of relationships and the trap that a simple idea of sensuality, pleasure and euphoria can put you into. This is a story for everyone who has loved, lost and fought for survival and love, together.
Just thought of sharing an excerpt for you straight from the book. Hope you like it.

 

It wasn’t the first time I was feeling so crap, so lifeless, so messed up; I had experienced it all in the past few months. Was it painful, I didn’t know, maybe I had got used to this pain so much that I had become numb. Maybe, it didn’t matter anymore. Maybe, it mattered but the hope of situations getting alright had somewhere been lost. Maybe, it was the darkness I had got accustomed to. Maybe…maybe, I was meant to be like this. Confused. Messed up. All the time.

And this is where you can place an order.

http://amzn.to/2eTVrWj

Since so many of my readers wanted an author signed copy, I asked my publisher for the same and he being really kind agreed to my request. So yes, if you order a copy from HS18, it is going to be author-signed.

We have a Facebook Page for the book too. Do LIKE.

https://www.facebook.com/BadRomanceTheBook

Signing off for the day. Have a happy Monday! 🙂

Love,
Harshita

heartbreak, Relationship Advice, Romantic fiction

That Man

I had never seen a man like him before. After all that happened to me, I started finding peace in talking to him. Although in the beginning, he knew nothing about me we’d talk, for hours together, mainly discussing his problems, his girl, not much about my life but even then, it was good to have someone to talk to. It was a lot better than brooding over the break-up I had just had, it was a lot better than to think about being used by people, it was better, a lot better than what those ugly thoughts brought me. All this was better than the pain I was suffering since the past few months. Our major part of conversation and cause of concern during those days happened to be her. She was his love, his first love and I knew how special she was for him. He somehow had this gut feeling that she was going away from him, he knew that she was with her for sake of being in a relationship but her heart wasn’t into it.
I was confused and helpless all the time at that time. Every day, in the evening, all he’d talk about was she. And then, one day, out of the blue, he told me that wanted me, not her. I was shocked. That was a tough time for me. While there were men who had betrayed me earlier and played with my feelings, this man wanted to be with me even after being hundreds of kilometres away from me. This was extremely confusing for me, how could he love two people at the same time. He himself didn’t know what was happening but I stayed on with him, still unsure of what I was doing. After some months of uneasiness and hope, he and she were over. I was at peace now, I was the only girl in his life.
For two years I stayed with him, listening to everything he said, agreeing to everything he said, taking in his possessiveness, forgoing my own desires for him, not certain things just because he didn’t find them right until I lost the strength. I had become his slave at one point of time, he’d abuse me like anything, he’d fuck me for hours together but I didn’t say anything thinking we were meant to be. I stopped talking to all my male friends simply because he didn’t like it. And even after that, I was blamed for infidelity. All this killed me from inside and then one fine day, I slept with my best friend. Later on fell for him even but we let it go because he was the man I had always been with.
He came to know about my deed and left no stone unturned to make me feel like a slut. He blamed me non-stop, it was my mistake after all. I was the one who had cheated on him but he forgot that it was he who had made me do all of it. Even after all this, he didn’t let me go. He wanted to have me and I stayed on. In one year’s time, I thought things had finally taken better shape until he started behaving erratically. His phone was always on wait and when it wasn’t, it went unnoticed.
And then one fine day, we broke up again blaming me for the cause. Six months after my breakup, I get to know he had told about me cheating on him with some girl and got into a relationship with her along with me. May be, he tried the same technique he had applied with me. Now he was with the new girl, wooing her like he did for me, may be he was fucking her, fooling around with her, showing her much he loved her which makes him get physical with her, telling her that his love for her makes him go possessive for her, sucking out the life out of her. He’d do the same thing with her too, just the way he did with me and finally, when she’ll raise voice, he’ll blame her for everything and then they will separate and the decision would definitely be taken by her, again he would be getting out of relationship without any blots and crimes. He was indeed a different person, not because he did things the weird way but because he made me emotionless like never before.

My Book, Uncategorized

Holi


Holi ka tyohaar abhi abhi nikla hai par na jane kyu har baar ki tarah kuch adhura sa lga is baar. Har rang me tumko dhundne ki koshish ki, tum kehte the na ki laal mujh par bhot fabta hai aur ittefaaq to dekho lga bhi gulaal wahi. Jane kyu itne sare rango mein ek laal hi sabse hat kar dikh rha tha. Khud ko ayene me dekha to paya ki tum sahi the, laal rang sach mein bhot jachta hai. Par humesha ki tarah tumhara subah subah phone ni aya, humesha ki tarah tumne badhaai nahi di, humesha ki tarah tumne nahi kaha ki, “Moti, kuch mithai bacha lio mere liye.”
Shayad kuch bacha hai humare beech, shayad ek naata hai jo chah k bhi nahi toot-ta. Shayad isiliye tumne call kia, ek baar nhi 7 baar par na jaane kyu himmat nhi hui tumse baat krne ki. Kyu karu main tumse baat, jab tumko meri zarurat hogi tb aaoge aur jab mann krega chale jaoge. Tumne hi usko chuna tha, tumne hi mera rasta chodha tha na to fir ab kyu? Kyu un ghav ko gehra karne ajate ho?
Jante ho na ki tumhare pyaar se kahin zyada humari dosti ka mahatv tha mere liye. Tumhe mujhse behtar pyaar mila maine seh lia, maine sab zindagi ka hissa bna lia, maine is badmaash mann ko bhi mana lia, mushkil tha par kia. Fir kyu tum ek baar fir is banjar dil ko baarish ki aasha dena chahte ho? Kyu mujhe uljha ke rakhte ho?
Jawaab to zindagi ne kabhi nahi diye to fir iska bhi hal milna mushkil lagta hai.Shayad wo upar se dekh rha, shaayad wo bhi samajh nahi paa rha ki aakhir kia bhi jaye to kya. Shayad is waqt humara milna sambhav nhi par kabhi na kabhi milenge zarur, kabhi kisi dusre janam mein! Tab tak ke liye apna khayal mere sabse pyaare dost…
Tumhari shayad ab apni nhi rhi..
Kritika
#Badromance