Guest post by Snigdha Gharami
Like every other love story, mine didn’t start with once in an epoch. In fact I don’t have a love story, I modestly loved him, and love never has a story. But it has good-bad folks, love and contaminated mellow dramas, the fantasy and lots of suspense which I could never get through. I never knew why that day ever came in my life when I had to set him a good bye, a good bye forever.
May be I can’t write the moment when I sit at the same coffee shop which was once filled with my cheers, his love and pampers of course. I can’t see our favourite seat at park which once no body dared to touch; he would make sure that nobody hurts me. But today it’s like he hurt me. How can he go like this, how can I be living? He never knew and he never will.
I don’t have a love story with a Stanger but I have fallen in love with my brother, and this is what I call love has no definitions, it’s simply a new era song like when a mother gives a afresh innate to his 10 years old child, she is not giving it to his son but a daughter to his second dad. My brother, he might not be like the guys who hangout. Though he is cool enough for it, gives me time more than his girlfriend, can make her hold just to get a single reply of my goodnight text with a much more 5k page in an adorable format and that is enough for me to blush!
He preserves me like a child in his heart, he overhauls me like anything. I just want him to know how special he has been these years but I wish he could read this and know that this little soul is not enough to survive in this world without him
“So you still miss me huh” he sat beside, and I leaned my head
This feels complete and much lovelier than leaning to someone else`
“Bhaiya, why did you go this long? I didn’t even know the way to you”
He didn’t answer and like every day I kept on saying without taking interest in the stuff that he might notice it because I know the only person who will not interfere when I am talking and listen to whatever I say.
“You remember in childhood we played the search game, we named this search engine. I used to get you soon, not for the reason that I played good enough, but you ensured I always win. But today I want to play along and search you Bhai, I miss you”
Shrish… someone called me from behind, I didn’t want to notice for I was with someone in my privacy
She called back “whom are you talking to, they call you for rituals”
I kept silent, because I didn’t want to go, the insane stick fragrance she brought with her irritated me, I didn’t want to go with them, I don’t want to entertain them
“Leave me alone” I shouted silently to myself, for now if I fight nobody will ensure I am safe
“Come fast, won’t you say a good bye to your brother?” she yelled at me for the sake that it should make me cry,
But I am no more going to cry like this, my brother is not dead, he is still there always with me for in case no body understand what he meant to me,
“You might be happy na…” I rubbed my fingers cross ways
“What?” she sat beside
“Now nobody can take my side, and everyone would love you” I asked to the most irritated person of my life, my elder sister, who was the only person who got freaked with our too close nature
She hugged me, but I didn’t cry because I didn’t want the anger to come out.
“Cry, you a***ole” she hugged me tight.
“I will not until I kill those who did this”
“Rest of the people in home will look into this, you are too small to fight dear” she grabbed me more tightly
But that made no difference because I didn’t have tears left, I had no choice.
Moved with her
They cried shouted and betrayed but none of them noticed that even I missed him, none of them noticed I was hungry
“If you would be here, you wouldn’t let me be hungry, right?”
“Can’t you take care of my princess” he touched with his fingers from behind.
That was no ghost but him, my brother and his presence, my hope to his memories that gave me more of life and strange strength to handle stuff without him.
He left with a good bye to me, in front of me they picked his body off and I just wanted to say
“do it slow, he might get hurt” but I myself was unsure that how much am I hurt
Everyone kept on saying- “cry on, let the pain out” but how come am I supposed to tell them that my soul is out from the body and it doesn’t need water to show off.
I came back and sat in the room with darkness all over when suddenly something got my eyes into our couple photo, the same I kept for years on Facebook. We exactly looked couple together, that made me laugh instantly at the comments I had got for a wonderful boyfriend.
“Well then nope I am luckier in getting him” I usually commented when people deloused my life
Well you all bitches, I have finally been ditched by luck now, he is no far along, now happy. May be I wanted to cry but somehow I couldn’t, I mean why should I cry for this silly. He is always near standing behind me with that simple charming smile
Snigdha Gharami is a third year student of Shri Shankracharya College of Engineering & Technology studying IT. She is a chirpy girl who is coming up with her first novel ‘Celebrato Romantica’ this Oct. She has been actively involved in Online Consultancy for Depression since long. You can follow her on her blog here and like FB page of her novel here